A Narrow Window

One of the most useful phrases I've learned is:

"My window is really narrow right now."

This stems from a concept called Window of Tolerance which describes your capacity to handle stressors.

A narrow window means - it’s currently hard to handle stressors.

A wider window means - you have more capacity to handle stressors.

Some days, I have a wide window.

A difficult conversation is still difficult, but I can stay present.

I can listen.

I can think clearly.

I can respond instead of react.

Other days, the same conversation feels impossible.

A stressful day.

Not enough sleep.

Too much on my mind.

And suddenly my window feels much smaller.

What I appreciate about the idea is that it reminds me that capacity changes.

Who I am hasn't changed.

The size of the window has.

I've found it helpful to notice that before charging into something important.

Especially in relationships.

Sometimes wisdom looks like having the hard conversation.

Sometimes wisdom looks like saying:

"Can we talk about this later? Right now, my window is really narrow."