Talk About It
On the occasion of her twentieth wedding anniversary, I asked a friend what advice she would give to a couple just starting out.
Her answer was simple:
"Talk about it. Whatever it is, no matter what it is, talk about it. Be honest, but always loving."
The sentence stayed with me.
Maybe because it sounds so obvious.
And yet, in practice, it can be surprisingly difficult.
It's easy to talk when things are going well.
It's harder when feelings are hurt.
When assumptions creep in.
When there's disappointment, fear, or uncertainty.
Over the years, I've noticed that many relationship problems aren't caused by the thing itself.
They're caused by everything that grows around the thing when it goes unspoken.
My husband and I have small rituals that make talking easier.
Coffee in the morning.
Conversations at the end of the day.
Nothing formal.
Just regular moments that create space for whatever needs to be said.
The good stuff.
The hard stuff.
And everything in between.
Looking back, I think my friend's advice endures because it isn't complicated.
Most relationships don't fail because people have nothing to say.
They struggle because somewhere along the way, they stop saying it.
